Perhaps nothing feels more devastating than the breakup of a marriage. And often by the time the problem is finally acknowledged, the relationship feels beyond repair. This is when many couples turn to marriage counseling. It can be instrumental in helping to stop a divorce as well as learning how to solve marital problems.
When should we see a couples therapist?
If you are in a relationship and feel you that your emotional needs are not being met or that your partner's behavior is upsetting you, then this is the time to seek counseling.
If you are afraid or reluctant to address your concerns because neither partner can come to an agreed upon solution, and this issue leads to an angry outburst, being disrespectful to each other or making demands, etc., then get help.
What does a therapist do?
You must think of a marriage counselor as a guide. They are not there to tell you your faults, pass judgement or pick sides.
They will assess the problem in the first session. In the second meeting, a couple is given a treatment plan, which is a strategy to solve your marital problems. Both the therapist and couple should agree on the plan.
Between meetings and during each session, the couple works on their goals. A therapist is there to help a couple handle their emotions and to make sure they stay motivated to work on their problems.
How and what do I look for in a marriage counselor?
The best way to find a therapist is through a referral. However, since most couples are reluctant to admit that they are having problems, you may not know whom to ask.
Many people find a counselor on the Internet or in the yellow pages. You should interview the counselor and ask about their number of years in counseling, their credentials and about their therapy philosophy.
When you first meet with your therapist, make sure both you and your partner feel comfortable with his or her style -- otherwise, find someone else.
Taking the step to enter into counseling can be as difficult as solving the problems. Many people feel that they have failed in some way, or that therapy will expose all of their flaws. Although marriage counseling can not save every marriage, many couples claim it changed their lives and relationships forever. 
